We always love the right person, although she or he may not be the right person for our life, or for the rest of our life, or even the right person to make blossom the best of us.

We always love the right person, and he or she is always prince charming or the beautiful princess, although he or she may be so only for one hour, one day or one year. The rest of the time together is gained thanks to the revenue generated by that nurturing moment of love.

There’s always an important reason to love a person, and I mean “love” in a wide and general sense. I’m not necessarily talking about the faithful and consistent love, firm and conscious, but about whatever love that can at least resist to some turbulence. The reasons that lead to love a person are obviously not “rational”, but they are still powerful justifications, real and effective causes. And also it doesn’t mean that these are noble and beautiful motives.

Despite of stupidity, neurosis and many other unpleasant ingredients that act in the relationships, I wouldn’t use them as the primary lens to comprehend the situation. Doing this would locate us into a negative anthropology and in the traditional dichotomist Christian paradigm that sees the human being as divided between good and evil, being his salvation clinging to good and repressing evil.

I propose another perspective, following Jung and Silvia Montefoschi. In this case, the underlying paradigm is the evolution of the conscience. Everything serves and belongs to one’s path. For this reason, we encounter the experience that relates to what we need to work, deepen and develop; that is: to what we need to know for the sake of our evolution. What’s most important to move in the direction of our conscious expansion would be at the core of the sentimental experience we link to. Pleasure and pain are secondary.

The hook that makes a relationship come into life may lay in a psychological issue that the person needs to face and solve. In this case, there’s nothing better than to materialize an entire situation to be able to observe with lucidity the different aspects of the problem we have to overcome (which is a “problem” only because is restricting our existential movements). When we get out of it, we would have solved our question and would be ready for the next stage.

Other times, the hook stays on the identity of two models of consciousness: it’s wonderful having someone to exchange ideas with and to feel in a similar way. This experience provokes an acceleration of the conscience that produces pleasure and gratification.

There are also unions justified by bond born in past lives. When they occur, however, they always have an evolutionary meaning for the person in this life and help in the clearing of present psychological dynamics.

In any of these cases, “love” not necessarily means “for ever”. Prince charming, after a while, may turn to be a toad. Had he “dropped” his former level or had we grown overcoming that initial phase? Because only female toads feel enchanted by male toads, and vice-versa.